Bucket list

I don’t have many things I really want to accomplish before I die, but if I had to make a list I suppose I would want to collect 1 billion euros in cash, then set it all on fire. I would also like to eat my body weight in the form of ice. 

Bullying

Most people believe that bullying is a growing problem. Most people would be right, bullying is a plague on our nations school system. After all, bullies are felonies just waiting to happen. If teachers truly care about the lectures they give about how wrong bullying is, they should at least attempt to connect with their students, they would be much more willing to talk to a teacher if they seemed less distant and more sympathetic. Parents would need to take a more active role in their children’s lives. I don’t mean fighting their battles, I mean to teach the children how to defend themselves from physical and verbal assault, because parents cannot always be there to defend the children, so why not teach them how to do it themselves? Children have a deadly mix of misplaced pride and sense of stupidity. This makes and fear of what a bully might do makes it difficult for them to admit their problems to adults and even each other. The best way for children to prevent bullying is to either a.) find it in themselves to tell someone their problems before it escalates or b.) learn how to fight back against the bullies, because bullies are cowards, they only pick on those weaker then them, so by making it clear you are stronger then they are, the bullying will cease. Cyber bullying is really not that different from bullying and the punishment should be just as severe.

5 minute lessons

If I taught something for 10 minutes, I would teach people how to be funny. Seeing how the majority of humans are drop dead dull, i think this is a magnificent idea, and also it’s one of the things I know best. Being funny is not that difficult, you just need to say the right thing at the right time. Also, you cannot be normal. Normal is not funny. Normal is boring. Don’t be normal.

Grammar issues

I have several issues when it comes to writing. I don’t know the difference between affect and effect. I do not know when to use then or than. The timing to stop a sentence or paragraph alludes me. I don’t understand the concept of a semicolon. I don’t know when to use a hyphen, and I spell most complicated words wrong.

Weekly Assistant

For an assistant I would have to choose Socrates. While Ben Franklin and Steve Jobs are interesting characters, Socrates is the one who grabs the most of my attention. He fascinates me on several levels; first I like his name, it’s very original and has a scholarly air around it. Secondly Socrates is a great Greek Philosopher who has been credited as a founder of Western Philosophy, as such I would LOVE to dissect his mind, metaphorically and a tad literally. Mostly for the week I would host daily 13 hour Q and A sessions were I would pick his brains on ideas and such paraphernalia. Other than that I would have him provide me with a steady stream of sandwiches and at other times have him read to me. As for projects, I would have Socrates construct me a steel throne in the shape of contorted bodies, or maybe just ask him to make me some ice, I cannot decide, both sound pretty good to me.

 

Alternatives

After slaying the Count Paris, Romeo descends into the desolate, chilling tomb, poison in hand. Not too long after traversing the pit, he stops. Only a few steps in front of him, dressed in the finest of fabrics, lying down on a bed of satin, is the body of Juliet. Romeo walks forward knowing how all of this would soon be over. Now directly in front of her, Romeo gazes down, hungrily taking every last detail in. He then gently brushes her lips with his own, and with that uncorks the bottle and consumes the poison. As Romeo takes his last breath and falls to the floor dead, Juliet awakens with a start. She sees Romeos corpse and a single tear rolls down her face, spying his knife beside him, Juliet raises it over her head, and with it carves out his still beating heart. After dusting herself off, Juliet drops the bloody knife, and leaves the tomb. Waiting for her outside is the Lord Capulet, arms behind his back and wide grin on his face. Climbing out of the tomb, Juliet hands her father Romeos’ heart. Very good Juliet, says lord Capulet, with this and the death of his wife Montague will break. The once noble house of the Montagues dies here in that tomb.

Magic Dust

If given the opportunity, I would chose not to breathe in the dust for several reasons. The first and foremost is that I love being young, I imagine it’s much more comfortable and worry free, and being in your 20′s and 30′s would carry much more responsibility than I could handle or ever want; it’s just so much easier to be young. Besides that I’m not a fan of inhaling foreign substances, so none for me. In short, being young seems so much better to me much more than being old, just my opinion of course.      

Childhood

My favorite childhood memory is when I went to China for the summer. I was able to meet some relatives, and my Uncle took me on a ride on his motorcycle. My Grandparents owned a farm and i got to play with some of the animals, like the pigs and chickens. Then after I was done playing with them, I got to eat some of them, and they were top notch. I would be glad if I got to visit them all again.

Dinner time

If i could invite any three people to dinner, they would be Batman, Einstein , and Christian Mechem. I would invite Batman because you gotta love a rich man in spandex. Einstein gets an invitation because he had magnificent hair and a tongue as awesome as mine, also I enjoy reading his theories and i agree with many of his intuitive quotes. Plus he quit school, which is pretty cool to me. I would invite Christian because he’s a genuinely nice person which is hard to come by these days, and also one of the few people who don’t irritate me, making him a prim candidate to dine with me.I think the three of them would get along famously, because Christian has a habit of making the mood lighter with his personality. The menu for the evening would consist of every fried thing to have ever existed covered in melted mozzarella, a bathtub of butter and popcorn, then some duck confit with broccoli rabe, a side of mashed potato with parsley, and a boiled egg. For dessert, vanilla milkshakes would be served with double chocolate chip cookies.

Save our world

I, Vitamin T, believe that obesity is the greatest issue that is facing our generation. Nearly 34% of all adults and 17% of children in America today are either overweight or obese. Obesity causes just as many premature  deaths, in the long-run as smoking does. In 2007, the Government-commissioned Foresight report predicted that if no action was taken, 60% of men, 50% of women and 25% of children would be obese by 2050.

Not much direct involvement has ever been used in the fight against obesity. Studies have been performed, ads have been released, but  direct involvement has been kept to a minimum, and so the rate of obesity is still climbing. One time direct intervention against obesity was taken, when a 200 lb third grader in Cleveland was taken away from his mother. While, some people protested this, I think action was necessary to make sure this child lives to see his 50th birthday.

I think the best way to fight this problem would be to start at home. If childhood obesity could be weeded out, the the children would pass on good health morals to their children. If a parent had a morbidly obese child, then that parent is abusing their child, so I would take the children away from them, because clearly these parents don’t have the level of responsibility necessary  to take care of someone. I would need the governments help and support for this plan to take effect and a one or two million dollars to be able to create homes and feed these children.

I would measure success by monitoring the amount of obese men, women, and children a few years after the plan takes place to see if their is any real difference in the level of obesity nation wide. I think their is a very good chance of the plan working, probably not immediately, but as the decades go by, the amount of obese and overweight will steadily decline. I know this plan isn’t perfect so adjustments will be made when the problems arise.

Richard H. Carmona, The Obesity Crisis in America, retrieved on 1/22/12

http://www.surgeongeneral.gov/news/testimony/obesity07162003.htm

Pam Belluck, Obesity rates Hit Plateau, Data Suggest, retrieved on 1/22/12

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/14/health/14obese.html
Donald F. Beha, Obesity and its Relation to Morality and Morbidity Costs, retrieved on 1/22/12

http://www.soa.org/files/pdf/research-2011-obesity-relation-mortality.pdf